The original is in italics, followed by commentary and annotations.
Hi. I'm Adam Mathes, but you probably already figured that out from the domain name.
Note the needless introduction followed by a weak attempt at wry humor as a sort of conversational ice-breaker, despite the fact that this is not a conversation, and my weak attempts at wry humor are never effective ice-breakers. Also note that this sentence fails to capture the fact that I am, in fact, a comic genius.
An about page on a site like this seems silly; I mean the whole site is about me. This will probably be unfulfilling for both of us, but here goes.
Questioning the need or justification of the about me page, along with a blatant attempt to lower expectations of the content contained. Clearly demonstrates my lack of self-confidence and self-deprecating tendencies.
I write like this. I look like this.
These are relatively new additions to the about me page. The link to the texty texts, being the first link on the page, tries to shift the focus of the audience towards what I consider the most important aspect of the site, my personal essays. The link to my webcam could be misconstrued as confidence in my physical appearance, but that is not the case. The ability to see, and in the case of a webcam, see in real time, the person you are reading about often has this humanizing effect, which is the intent here.
I'm a junior at Stanford where I'm attempting to major in computer science.
While I don't think that the educational institution I attend or what I study are ultimate defining characteristics, I think that it's the sort of information that is relevant on this page. And besides, I'm proud of the fact that I go to Stanford. It's something I worked very hard for, I should be proud of it, not pretend that it doesn't matter, or refuse to mention it for fear of sounding "elitist."
I play lots 1980's video games on my computer with this. I'm a geek.
Saying I'm a geek is on par with mentioning the sky is blue. While it's plainly obvious that I am a geek, as any Stanford computer science major who owns multiple domain names has to be, an upfront, obvious statement of it shows a sense of comfort with who I am. This is, of course, a big front. I'd much rather be a rockstar with thousands of screaming teeny-bopper fans, being front-man to a shitty, talentless band whose trite, unoriginal videos are played round the clock on MTV than a geek who's web page proudly announces the fact that he plays 15-year-old arcade games on a custom-made, 22-button, two-joystick arcade-quality control panel.
I have a thing for girls with purple hair.
This became a running gag in my life after I wrote A Very Serious Review of Titan A.E. for Über. Actually, it's not really much of a running gag, since nobody thinks it's funny. Also, I do have a thing for girls with purple hair.
I have Charlie Brown syndrome.
As a child, I ate a peanut-butter sandwich for lunch ever single day at school, just like Charlie Brown, but Charlie Brown syndrome goes much deeper than having peanut-butter stick to the roof of your mouth. Charlie Brown syndrome is never kicking the football, never pitching a winning game, and never winning the affections of the cute little red-headed-girl. The important thing about Charlie Brown is not that he always lost, that in itself was unremarkable. It was that despite the fact that he always lost, he just kept doing it. It's this sense of utter despair and pessimism from a life of constant defeat, but within it, always some sort of hope that convinces you that this time, you might just kick the football.
I normally write sentences with more complex structure. By sentences with complex structure, I mean long, grammatically incorrect, run-on sentences.
That paragraph has no clear purpose. I should probably delete it.
My lack of style has become my style.
I wrote this after I "redesigned" my sites to the current tiny blue type on white in a slender column, and I think it was meant as a reference to that, but in fact says alot about my philosophy on style in general. I tend to think that I have no style. I wear blue jeans and t-shirts. Of course, this careful lack of style has become my trademark style. That and beat-up flannel shirts.